I hate...that the Cubbies fucked up and lost their home opener. It's very stressful to be a Cubs fan because for the most part, they suck ass! So why be a Cubs fan? Guess I just like to torture myself. This is probably not good Cubbie etiquette, but I'd just like to say...THIS IS NOT THEIR YEAR! I predict they will not make it to the World Series and if they do on some fluke, they will not win. And yes, I'm willing to eat my words for saying that if by some miracle they actually do win.

I hate...that I've been making really stupid mistakes the last few days. Stupidity seems to be my specialty. I've locked my keys in my trunk, backed into a car and couldn't figure out why my car was no longer moving, ran the washing machine but forgot to put the clothes in, turned on the coffee maker but forgot to plug it in, just to name a few. I should be wearing a badge that says 'Hi, my name is Stupid Fucking Moron'.

I hate...self checkout lanes at the grocery store. I wouldn't have a problem with them if they'd give me a discount for using them. But they jack up their prices to cover the salaries of the cashiers and baggers. If I still have to pay them for that, I'm sure as hell going to utilize what I'm paying for.

I hate...obese women that insist on wearing bikinis. But not because I don't think they shouldn't be allowed to just because of their size. If they're comfortable with their bodies, that's great...kudos to them. I hate to see them in bikinis because the bikini is totally unflattering to a woman of that size. The tops usually look fine, it's the bottoms that look nasty. They either rise too high at the waist and look like massive granny panties or they are cut too low and there's a big roll of flab hanging over the top of the waistband. Be proud of your body regardless of size, just wear clothing that is flattering.

I with hairy backs. Ok, I don't hate the men, I hate the hair itself. I know that genetics makes it grow there, but for the love of god...wax! You'd be surprised how far more appealing to women waxing would make you.

I hate...all the coverage on tv about the pope. Being an atheist, I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is. I'm not aware of any contributions he's made to society to garner that kind of massive attention. Another thing I don't understand is the people taking pictures while he was laid out for viewing. Do these people go to other funerals and take pictures? That's just creepy.

I hate...Officer Estenson of the Osseo, Wisconsin police department. Thanks for giving me a ticket for making an illegal u-turn. I understand I broke the law, but what I don't understand is why there needs to be an illegal u-turn sign in THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE! What's the population of that town? My guess is less than a hundred. Given how fast I was pulled over, I can only assume that the sole reason for that sign even being there is simply to trap unsuspecting out-of-towners who've made the mistake of stopping in your godforsaken town for gas or something to eat and bilk them out of their hard earned cash. It's so nice of you to punish people who have contributed to your town's economy by purchasing products from your local businesses. I also liked your comment about "having" to give me a ticket. You didn't "have" to, you chose to and I'm pretty convinced you only chose to because I was from out of state.